“I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars, he sure knew what he was doin’ when he joined these two hearts. It was no accident, me finding you. Someone had a hand in it long before we knew”- Tracy Byrd
I’ve got to let y’all in on a little secret. This is something I don’t tell many people. I was married once before. All I can picture are loud gasps in my head as I type. The way things are these days, I know it is not that surprising, but it is still something that bothers me and it is something I never like to admit. Being a divorcee was never my plan. In 2012 I married the person I thought I would be with forever. I had bucket full of plans. I knew exactly how my life would be and I was happy. However, I received some news 6 months into our marriage that he was and had been cheating on me for years. I was suddenly in a place where my whole world flipped upside down and in my mind everything was falling apart. Little did I know that everything was actually falling in place.
The night I found out what had really been going on, I decided I was going to drink my cares away at the bar on the end of our street. I pulled up and as I was walking towards the door I looked down to adjust my jeans when I heard someone say “Hey pretty girl”. I looked up and there was my good friend Wes. Wes and I actually lived down the street from one another. We had a pretty big circle of friends we would invite over and Wes would come by and hang out from time to time. He began seeing someone who really broke his heart and once that happened, he sort of went into hiding. He wasn’t as social and no one in our circle of friends really knew what he had been up to. I was so happy to see him because it had been over a year since we had spoke and I always enjoyed his company. He offered to buy me a drink and we ended up catching up the rest of the night. Afterwards he walked me home and, for the first time in all of the years I had known him, I was attracted to him. I had been so caught up with and in love with my current husband that I never noticed anyone else. Because my world had begun to crumble, I was able to see through the cracks and get a view I had never seen before. Nothing happened right away because of course I still had a marriage that was falling apart, but this was the beginning. We agreed to keep in touch with one another. Eventually I opened up about what was going one and he also opened up, telling me how hurt he had been over his last relationship. I am going to fast forward through all of the nasty separation and divorce stuff, one of these days I will write more about it, but eventually Wes and I decided we would give a relationship with each other a try.
The point of all this is that, sometimes when things seem to be falling apart, they may just be falling apart so you can find something better. You never know what is at the end of that storm. I am not saying everything with Wes and I is perfect, but we have a much healthier relationship. Looking back, I am able to see how all of the pain was really for the better. Not only did I stumble upon the person I really needed to be with, I also grew. I learned so much about myself, about love, about when and how you have to let things go. I also learned to trust the plan. There are many people who strongly doubt there is any sort of structure or plan for our lives. While I do fully believe we have control over certain things, I also believe there is a basic plan that is laid out for each of us. The thing is, we all have the choice to go with it, and have a better life, or fight it and be miserable. Whether you are spiritual or religious does not matter. You are here to have a great life. Attitude affects everything. So if you’re going through something, take a breath and go with it. While you are going through it, look around and see what lessons you can learn. Look around and see what you can take with you that will improve your tomorrow. Always seek the bigger picture. If you don’t see it right away, be patient. There are lessons from my past relationship that did not hit me until years later. They will come when they are necessary for you. Just keep an open mind and an open heart and they will come.